Saturday, November 20, 2004

When its dark enough men see stars...

Things have been really messy and hard... actually kind of mindblowing... I never would have thought that over the last two and a half months I would end up in a battle with the school fighting to keep my church alive and be accusing someone I work with of sexual harrasment and my bosses of creating a hostile work environment... this is not me... but its something that I have to do right now.

Its really burning me out, its like I can't wrap my mind around whats happening and its stressing me out... and I feel alone in it... in my friendships I am the helper, people come to me when they have problems and need encouragement, and I love being that person, but then the day comes that I'm on the floor and need someone to pick me up... but there is no one who can help me... i am the fixer, but I can't fix myself.

But even though I'm struggling to walk through my life... it is a life that I love. I'm so happy with who I am and what I am doing... and despite what's going on I have so much hope in my God... I know that He is working in me, through me, and around me... each of these situations is in his hand.
And I have my beautiful South African friend who somehow manages to lift me up from half way around the world... I love her dearly and miss her more than I can express... I thank God for giving her friendship to me.

One day at a time... just keep walking... the days will get brighter... and God will never leave my side... I'm OK

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