Wednesday, December 7, 2005

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly, but it's not easy to tell you goodbye...

I cannot believe my life right now! I'm usually the one to take the safe, responsible route, to not take risks, to do what is expected, but this time things are different. If you've been reading you know that I struggled over whether or not to go back to school this summer (and I chose to go even though it means a much larger OSAP loan) and that I told myself that I needed to have a job before I decided to go to South Africa (but decided to go even though I didn't have one)... so I took some leaps of faith and trusted that God would take care of me... and he has, more than I could have imagined!
There have definately been some rough and uncertain moments over the last few weeks, but looking back, the good much outways the bad and I've been blessed with abundance!
Over the last week, my landlords totally unexpectedly decided to let a guy sublet my room (after they had previously said no and I was panicking about finding another subletter super fast, my thesis advisor gave me until January to hand in my thesis and my Soc prof gave me an amazing mark on my term paper lessening the school stress considerably, a job fell in to my lap (thanks to my good friend lisa who is always looking out for me!), and then out of nowhere I got a lead on an apartment!
AND, to top it all off I'm leaving for South Africa in 5 HOURS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SO basically, I'm beyond excited, my life is working out wonderfully, and God is amazing!
See you all when I get back from Africa and begin my new life as a non-student in Guelph!

Thursday, December 1, 2005

I can't believe that this is goodbye...

Over the last few days may panic over trying to all my school work done and travel plans arranged quickly turned into a realization that I am quickly running out of time to spend with my friends before I move out of town. So, instead of devoting myself to finishing school on a high note I find myself spending my time hanging out with friends...
On saturday I went to see RENT with some of the girls, it was everything I dreamed of and started crying in the opening scene... I've been listening to the soundtrack every since ;)
Monday was my last official Embassy, fortunately the chaos that is setting up Embassy and the worry in the back of my mind about how much work I was potentially going to have to do this week kept me from thinking about how Embassy is potentially the hardest things for me to leave. I love love love my friends but I know that we will keep in touch and will visit each other, but my position on Embassy leadership is something that I have to say goodbye to, and that is soo hard. Its probably a good thing that I didn't have time to process this on Monday because all those people did not need to see me cry... but I have a suspicion that Friday at the Christmas party is going to be another story.
Tuesday I went to see Pride and Prejudice with Innis... such a beautiful movie! Stunning cinematography and a storyline that is every girls dream! Now I just need to find a man who is so taken by me that even if I'm stubborn and crazy he can't help but look me (with those gorgeous eyes) and tell me that "you have bewitched my body and soul"... *sigh*
Tonight it was Lost and Euchre with Innis, Curtis and Silas. Innis and Curtis have become such amazing friends to me this year, its funny to think about how friendships evolve. Curtis is such a solid, selfless, caring guy... its such a privilege to have him as a friend. And crazy Innis, I've loved having her as a roommate/friend over the last few years, and getting to the core of her randomness I've gotten see what a good heart she has. Now Silas, this boy is an enigma in my life... I love him with all my heart and I'm not so happy about leaving the town that he is in, now that I've gotten him back in my life in a real way I'm not looking forward to being away because he is definitely an 'out of sight out of mind' kind of guy and its going to hurt a lot of things go back to the way they were when he lived far away... i hope that I can hold on to our relationship because I really feel like I'm a better person because of his presence in my life.
So here I am, two days away from leaving town. Its a bitter sweet feeling as there are definitely things and people that I'm so ready to leave but many many others that I'm going to miss so much.
I'm saying goodbye to my identity as a student, which has been so much a part of my life since I entered kindergarten over 18 years ago. I'm saying goodbye to the University of Waterloo. I'm saying goodbye to my position on leadership at the Embassy. I'm saying goodbye to all those people who are situational friends, and although they've brought a smile to my face many times over the last few years, its unlikely that we will stay in touch after I leave here. Although I'm not saying goodbye to my close friends, I am saying goodbye to the way our relationship is right now because distance will definitely bring changes.

I hope that the adventures that await me are worth all of these goodbyes...