Sunday, September 24, 2006

All this seems strange and untrue...

Sorry for the lack of postings here lately, it seems as though my inner dialogue has been more internal than usual resulting in more paper journaling and fewer thoughts written here for the world to see.

Its wierd not being in school. The not going to classes part is fine but I find that I don't know what to do with myself when I have spare time, probably because I'm not used to having spare time. There have always been chapters to be read and papers to be written, things that i should be doing instead of sitting around. But now there is nothing I should do, so I have to figure out what I want to do, because sitting around is getting boring.

I've been thinking a lot lately about the empty space I feel in my heart, the one that I think needs to be filled with relationships. Generally we are taught that God is supposed to fill the hole ("there's a God shaped hole in all of us...") but the bible also said that it was not good for man to be alone... so i can't quite figure out if it is right that I'm looking for another person to make me feel less alone or if I should be able to get what I need from God?