Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Sleep, don't weep, my sweet love... your face is all wet and your day was rough...

Broken I run to You
For Your arms are open wide
I am weary but I know
Your touch restores my life

I'm falling on my knees
Offering all of me
Jesus You're all this heart is living for

Monday, January 22, 2007

F*** you and all we've been through...

It has become clear
that you don't give a crap
about me

The feeling of abandonment
is hard to shake

Heal me O Lord

Thursday, January 4, 2007

An unexamined life is not worth living...

When I was in second year myself and a bunch of my friends made lists of  "30 things to do before I'm 30" (my list only got to 20 for some reason). We were 20 at the time so that gave us 10 years to get through everything. Last night while I wasn't sleeping (me and my screwed up sleep patterns) I suddenly got the urge to pull it out and see how I was doing. Turns out I'm doing pretty well, I was able to cross off 8 of my 20 and I still have 7 years to go!
As for what is left, its interesting to see how my dreams and priorities have changed. Most of the items left on my list range from impossible (its going to be pretty hard to get a position playing in the pit band of a musical after barely touching my sax for the last 4 and a half years, I guess I could count high school for this one), highly unlikely (the amount of travelling I have left on here is going to take a couple years and a lot of money that I don't have), to simply not that important anymore (sure I would still love to do a round the world trip and open a youth center, but I have my whole life ahead of me! What am I going to do if I cram everything into the time before I turn 30?!)
And then there are those 10 blank spaces on the bottom of my list, in the past three years have I dreamed up anything new that I would like to add? Yeah, I can think of a few, but most of the things I want in my life are not so quantifiable that I can do them and cross them off a list. Learning to trust God and follow His will for my life, to practice spiritual discipline, to truly love others... these things are part of a life long journey that will have its ups and its downs. There will be no time when these things are 'achieved' and can be crossed off and moved on from.
Anyways... here is my list in its current form (its only up to 28 but I guess I still have time to come up with two more!). I don't think that I will actually be able do all of them before I'm 30 (especially all the travelling) but you never know!

30 things to do before I'm 30...
1. Graduate with my BA2. See Lifehouse in concert3. Play in the pit band of a musical
4. Live outside of Ontario for at least 1 year
5. Find the perfect dress
6. Go to Europe
7. Go to South Africa8. Open a youth drop-in center
9. Fall in love
10. Get married
11. Wear contacts12. Own a grand piano
13. See Les Miserables14. See a musical on Broadway
15. Get blue highlights16. Paint a picture on a canvas
17. Go on a cruise
18. Go on a round the world trip
19. Wax my eyebrows20. See Rent for a second time21. Take a photography course
22. Get a Masters degree
23. Watch an entire season of a TV show in one day
24. Buy a car
25. Sleep under the stars
26. Make a scrapbook for myself
27. Tithe consistantly
28. Work at a job that fulfills me

Wednesday, January 3, 2007

Hope is coming for the heart that holds on...

The way you love me
gives me hope
that someday
someone as amazing as you
will be in love with me
happy new year everyone!