Wednesday, February 22, 2006

There are children standing here, arms outstreched into the sky, no one asks the question why..

I'm watching Oprah doing a special report on Hurricane Katrina... it's breaking my heart.
WHY in the most powerful country in the world are people living in third world conditions 5 months after the fact. And the worst part about it is the knowledge that people are living like this not only in Mississippi but in more countries than I can count, all over the world.
WHY after experiencing first hand such terrible devastation and pain does the US continue to create the same pain in other places. A read the other day about man who's son came home on leave from Baghdad to visit his home in New Orleans and said basically that even though they spend every day bombing the crap out of Baghdad, the devastation in New Orleans was worse.
WHY does the US spend an obscene amount of money on wars protecting other countries from their evil leaders who are causing them harm not put the same effort into protecting their own citizens from harm.
WHY can't the richest, most intelligent, most powerful country and people in the world not figure out how to clean up a mess... yes its a big, huge, colossal mess, yes it will require some creative thinking, yes it will take a lot of money and resources... but guess what, ignoring it isn't going to make it go away, get your head out of the sand and start to do something, any action is better than nothing.

WHY God in a country that claims to be following You, with a president who claims to serve You, in a place where they have every blessing do they not look in the face of the homeless, the motherless and the childless, those steeped in poverty, and victims of tragedy... why do they not see You?

"Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?" He will reply, "I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me." - Matthew 25:44-45

    Tuesday, February 21, 2006

    This road that we travel, may it be the strait and narrow...

    I stand at a cross-roads, an infinite number of possible paths stretch out before me, the possibilities are endless. But I can't just stand here, I have to keep moving. The questions is, which way to go? Each possibility has its own set of pros and cons, but the thing is, I don't just want to make the choice with the best risk-benefit ratio, I want to walk on the best path, the one fulfills God's plans for my life. So I sit and pray and wait... wondering if the desires in my heart are from God, or whether they stem from my own motives and selfishness. Make clear to me Lord the way you want me to go, I only want to follow you, let me hear your voice...
    "Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying "This is the way; walk in it." " -Isaiah 30:21

    Saturday, February 11, 2006

    I've been running from these demons for most of my life...

    ... but I still feel them watching me in the middle of the night.
    To all my friends who help chase away my demons,
    Thank you for making me feel loved and cared for :)
    When I start to feel like I'm going to hit rock bottom,
    you never fail to show up and cushion my fall.

    Friday, February 10, 2006

    Facing your fears...

    Pursue your dreams not because you are immune to heartbreak
    but because your real life, your whole life,
    is worth getting your heart broken a few thousand times.

    Thursday, February 9, 2006

    Gotta kick at the darkness till it bleed daylight...

    SO, its been a long few weeks. After getting denied graduation, waiting with bated breath to find out if the school was going to have mercy on me and let me take more classes this term, getting into the classes and being a month behind, getting over emotional about my relationships, leaving The Embassy, moving in general, and I'm sure a hundred other things, surviving a full week of hating every second of my job and therefore getting very very restless, applying to work at camp, getting told that none of the jobs I wanted at camp were available, resigning myself to staying at this job, getting my bank card canceled, missing the bus a few times, and generally feeling sorry for myself... I finally feel like I'm getting my footing back. Sure, my emotions are still a bit roller-coaster like, but you think I should be getting used to it now. I've still got a ways to go but I think I'm getting back on track.
    On a side note, does anyone else perpetually feel like people don't like them or are mad at them? Because I do... and it sucks. I have to remind myself on a daily basis (and on bad days a moment to moment basis) that I'm paranoid (or am I? haha).
    Remember Sara, just because people aren't showing love the way you would or the way you want them to does not mean they don't care about you.

    Monday, February 6, 2006

    All I want is the wind in my hair, to face the fear but not feel scared...

    Note to anyone who's reading this: Sorry for not posting anything but song lyrics lately... I've been going through a lot of stuff and finding it difficult to put into words what I feel... the closest I can come is through music that I feel captures my emotions... that said, here is another song!


    I feel these four walls closing in
    Face up against the glass
    I'm looking out
    Is this my life I'm wondering
    It happened so fast
    How do I turn this thing around
    Is this the bed I chose to make
    There's greener pastures I'm thinking about
    Wide open spaces far away

    All I want is the wind in my hair
    To face the fear but not feel scared

    Wild horses I wanna be like you
    Throwing caution to the wind, I'll run free too
    Wish I could recklessly love like I'm longing to
    I wanna run with the wild horses
    Run with the wild horses

    I see the girl I wanna be
    Riding bare-back, care-free
    Along the shore
    If only that someone was me
    Jumping head-first, head-long
    Without a thought
    To act and damn the consequences
    How I wish it could be that easy
    But fear surrounds me like a fence
    I wanna break free

    All I want is the wind in my hair
    To face the fear, but not feel scared