Sunday, March 23, 2008

All we can do is keep breathing...

He asked me if there was some other issue I wasn't telling him about
of course there is another issue, but it has nothing to do with him
in fact, I'm perplexed by the fact that he assumed it was about him in the first place
I guess we are all a little insecure sometimes

The issue is that I've felt overwhelmed every day for the last two and a half months
that i just barely get through each week
always running behind trying to catch up
hanging on by a thread

Now a huge part of my life is changing
and I have no control over it
and I know I can't keep going like this
but don't know what to change

So I'm scared
and I wish you could see
that I'm coming close to falling apart
and it has nothing to do with you

why can't you see me

Friday, March 7, 2008

With tired eyes, tired mind, tired soul...

February kind of just happened to me
It arrived with a snow storm, had me struggling and spinning, and left me reeling from the impact.

I think I cried most days in February
Sometimes tears of joy (as I watch my friends get their happily ever after)
Sometimes tears of sadness (as i anticipate goodbyes)
Sometimes the feelings of being overwhelmed simply spilled out

Everything was so much more than I anticipated
My life is not sustainable
As I look back on the hopes I had for myself this year, they are not part of my life
I'm just surviving
Someone told me I'm not the same this term

There needs to be change

Big decisions lie ahead
But I need stillness in order to make them
Which I don't know how to find in the whirlwind that is my life

5 more weeks...